Eternity

Today Aileen taught the lesson in Relief Society, and something crazy happened to me. I was able, for maybe the first time in my life, to begin to accept the idea that my plan for myself (which everyone knows) may just not work out, and the Plan of Happiness, which pertains to eternity, is a lot more important than anything I have scheduled for myself in the next decade or so.

In other words, as she talked about the eternal blessings of a Celestial marriage and family, I realized that, although I’ve thought there’s nothing I’d rather do than go on a mission, and that of course remains my current plan and huge desire, there actually is something even more important than that. (I know that’s hard to fathom.) As Sister Miller told us today, marriage is the pinnacle of the temple, and all the ordinances lead up to it. I like to tell myself that I’m only 19, and I have no maturity whatsoever, and marriage is preposterous, and that’s way down the path, and I’m not even going to date anyone because I still have a mission, and I’m sick of hearing about marriage all the time, it’s actually wonderfully and eternally crucial.

I’m not saying that I’m going to drop the mission and get married immediately or anything like unto that. No. I’ve just begun to allow my pride and close-mindedness fade to a slight degree (and it will continue to fade) as I continue to learn and mature and widen my view beyond 5 years from now. I want to go on a mission to prepare for a family, but I always sort of skip over the marriage part. Now I want to do everything I can to prepare for that too. And if that comes before other plans, so be it. It’s all up to the Lord and His plan for my eternal progression.