Category: Mental Health

The Power of the Book of Mormon

I really really love the Book of Mormon. I’ve read it every day since I was 13 (Okay, not exactly… The day of my brain surgery I couldn’t read, so my mom read out loud to me while I lay in my hospital bed) and I know it’s True.

But beyond my love for it and my testimony of it, I’ve discovered a special power it has in my life. I’m sure my habit of reading it every day has protected and strengthened me, and I’m deeply grateful for that. When I started teaching 6th grade, I sometimes experienced anxiety. It started happening again this week as I started my first year at a new school.

So when I felt the anxiety coming earlier this week, I remembered what I used to do when I taught 6th grade– I pulled out my phone, and started reading the Book of Mormon. Almost instantaneously the panic and anxiety went away, and I felt great peace. I don’t understand how that works, and I know I don’t have like an official anxiety disorder, so I don’t know that I’m necessarily qualified to make this claim. But for me, the Book of Mormon takes away my anxiety. It calms me down and gives me the strength to do my job even when it feels too hard. I know that power comes from the Holy Ghost, and I’m so grateful for it.

The Good Kind of Pride

That’s a thing, right? The good kind of pride? Like I’m proud to be a member of Christ’s restored Church. I’m proud to be Jim and Traci Blair’s daughter. (Can’t currently say I’m proud to be an American, but I trust I will soon be able to. And I’m GRATEFUL to my ancestors who sacrificed so much to come here!) I’m proud to have served in the California Los Angeles Mission under the leadership of President and Sister Weidman. I’m proud to be an ordinance worker at the Salt Lake temple.

So I’m thinking hubris pride, which Ezra Taft Benson said is the root of all sin, is definitely not good. But the kind of pride where we recognize we’ve got a good thing going and we’re fully invested– not hubris– seems to be productive and good.

I was thinking about this on my morning run yesterday. I had been planning to do a 20-miler, because my next marathon is in a few weeks. I was feeling fantastic the whole run, and then my back started killing me, so I ended up only running 10 miles. Rather than being proud of myself for getting up at 5:30 to run, or being proud of the really solid 10 miles I did, I felt ashamed that I hadn’t been able to do what I’d been planning on. I was embarrassed that I didn’t run 20 miles.

What the heck. 10 miles is awesome! It’s 10 miles more than most people ran yesterday! I’d like to work on being proud of myself for my effort, rather than beating myself up for not being as good or as fast or as perfect as I’d like to be. As my dad says, the victory is that I made it out the door.

Letting Sadness Drive

Sadness is an emotion I don’t have a great deal of experience with. My life’s been pretty happy in my short 25 years.

But sometimes sad things happen. My natural tendency is to try to cheer myself up, and sort of forget whatever sad circumstance there is. I’m really good at looking for the positive and focusing on that. This has helped me in the past, but I think we sometimes need to focus on the reality of a sad situation.

The other day, a well-intentioned person said to me, “Don’t be sad!” and I thought, “I think that’s some of the worst advice I’ve ever received.”

Be sad. Feel your feelings. Lean into your feelings. Write about your feelings. Sing about your feelings. Listen to Taylor Swift sing your feelings. Give yourself permission to FEEL, because that means everything’s working. It means you’re human.

I’m currently letting sadness drive. It’s been a new experience, but I think it’s important. I will be sad, thank you. And I think it’s beautiful.

January Book: The Gifts of Imperfection, by Brene Brown

Just finished this AMAZING book by Brene Brown, which explores the keys to Wholehearted living. As you know, I struggle with perfectionism. This book opened my eyes to where perfectionism may have its roots (shame) and how I can overcome it and live more authentically.

Here are some highlights:
*”Every time we choose courage, we make everyone around us a little better and the world a little braver. And the world could stand to be a little kinder and braver.”

*”Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgment or receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgment to giving help.”

*”Practicing self love means learning how to trust ourselves, to treat ourselves with respect, and to be kind and affectionate toward ourselves.”

*”The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.”

*”Our imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together. Imperfectly, but together.”

*”Hope is a combination of setting goals, having the tenacity and perseverance to pursue them, and believing in our own abilities.”

*”Tolerance for disappointment, determination, and a belief in self are the heart of hope.”

*”Overcoming self doubt is all about believing we’re enough and letting go of what the world says we’re supposed to be and supposed to call ourselves.”

*”Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

Here’s to cultivating hope!

There’s a Crack in Everything

My thoughts today center on being okay with not being perfect. Unfortunately, that’s something I can’t say I’ve achieved. However, I’m working on it.

I was studying 1 Nephi 10 the other day, and a few verses really stuck out to me.

First was verse 6.

My favorite part of that verse is the last line– “UNLESS they should rely on this Redeemer.” (That’s the direct Spanish translation.) We’re not fallen if we rely on the Lord!

Then verse 10.
It’s just talking about what Jesus will do when He’s on Earth, and the last line brings me peace. It says Jesus will “take away the sins of the world.”

Duh. I already knew that. I’ve read this verse a million times.

But He will TAKE AWAY our shortcomings! They will be gone! We will one day be perfect!

I can’t really explain why I care so much about being perfect. I know we aren’t expected to be perfect now, and I know we just need to do our best. But the idea that Jesus will take away our sins and make us perfect brings me more comfort that I can convey through words. What a relief.

Then on top of that, He gives us weaknesses to bring us closer to Him. This song speaks deeply to me. I hate that I have weaknesses, or cracks. But that’s how the Light gets in.