#thirdgradequotes FINAL INSTALLMENT

This is the last time you’ll have the joy of reading #thirdgradequotes, because next year I’ll begin teaching 6th grade! So for a little Summer special, I bring you a final batch of #thirdgradequotes.

3rd grade girl: I hate Justin Beaver.

3rd grade boy: Just wait until I go through puberty. Then I can make my own Chewbacca costume.

Me: You guys aren’t going to start dating until you turn 16, right?
3 girls in unison: My mom says I can’t date until I’m 25.

Mom: Good thing he knew Xenophilius, right?
Me: Mama, I assure you there wouldn’t have been a second date if he hadn’t known Xenophilius.

Me: Wait, what are those men doing here? (in the Celestial room)
Fellow temple worker: I have no idea. We’re in charge here!

Rachel: Everything fried is infinitely better.

Me (playing a guessing game with 3rd grader): this is usually found in people’s pockets.
3rd grade girl: An eraser!!
Me: Nope.
3rd grade girl: This isn’t going as well as I thought.


Amber: When was this theory proposed? It was during Mom and Dad’s lifetime.
Kristen: 18…

3rd grade boy: How dare you throw that away! It’s recyclable!

3rd grade boy: Miss Blair, were you alive in the 50s?

3rd grade boy: My heart is beeping so fast!

3rd grade boy: I have a computer game where every time there’s a person named Trump, I eat him.

5th grade boy: Hey Mrs. Blair!
Me: It’s Miss, not Mrs.
5th grade girl: Oh, he didn’t put a ring on it?

3rd grade boy: Everyone knows Kylo Ren isn’t the best-looking kid on the block.

3rd grade boy: Reading sucks!
Me: No it doesn’t! It’s how you get smart.
3rd grade boy: That’s not how I get smart.
Me: How do you get smart?
3rd grade boy: Youtube.

3rd grade boy: O.M.Goodness.


Me: What is the plural of pig?
3rd grade boy: Extra bacon!
Me: What is the plural of goose?
3rd grade girl: Lots of pillows.

Me: What do teachers and students have in common?
[long pause]
3rd grade girl: Ummmm they’re both human?

Me: You don’t have a boyfriend, right?
3rd grade girl: Ewww!! Don’t make me throw up already!

3rd grade boy: In my family, we don’t celebrate Harry Potter.

3rd grade boy: [on Valentine’s Day] I’m on a diet to get bigger, so I’m going to eat more candy.

Amanda: One of my favorite scriptures is “And the liar shall be thrust down to Hell.”

Addison: Apparently Asians flock to me.

Me: I don’t want to be ENFP! Michael Scott is ENFP.
Sophie: Well, Saddam Hussein is my personality type.

3rd grade boy: You have a jawline.
Me: Everyone has a jawline.
3rd grade boy: Not me, because I’m too fat.

3rd grade girl: I could starve myself if I wanted.
3rd grade boy: Well I could strangle myself if I wanted.

Maude: If you’re having a hard time, it may be that God and Satan are just messing with you.

Sophie: What musical number do you want at your funeral?
Kristen: “Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead.”


It’s time for another episode of #thirdgradequotes! Other funny quotes are included.

Primary kid: Carbonated water is water with carbs in it.

Me: What’s your favorite color?
5 y.o.: Plaid
Me: What’s your favorite song?
5 y.o.: “Bad Blood” by Taylor Swift.
Me: Tell me about your grandma.
5 y.o.: I’m not telling you anything about her![pause] Okay. She gives me $20 every year.
Me: What’s your favorite Disney movie?
5 y.o.: I’m so over those little kid Disney movies.

Me: How big do you think the sun is?
3rd grade boy: No se, Senora.
Me: Senorita. No soy casada.
3rd grade girl: Aww pobrecita.

3rd grade girl: The cheetah-print bathrobe is my mom’s. Don’t judge her.

3rd grade boy: I hate it when children aren’t responsible!

3rd grade boy: [upon seeing me reading a book during recess] Wait, grownups actually read?
Me: Absolutely! Reading is one of my all-time favorite things to do!
3rd grade boy: Oh. I’ve never seen one read before. #certaindeathofhighsociety

3rd grade girl: In case you don’t know, a crazy cat lady is a lady who has tons of cats and lives by herself and never gets married because she loves her cats too much.

Me: Okay, so the rest of this will be your homework.
Primary kid: Yeah!!! This class is the best! We get homework!!

#thirdgradequotes Writers Journal Edition

“One time, I got so lost, so I told Spiderman for help. No help from him, so I told the Air Force. They found my mom, so we went to the mall.”

“In 20 years, I am going to be 28 and I’m going to get a job. I’m going to be old. I bet you it will be harder in my life.” #believeithoney

“It seems fun to be a teacher, because you can talk to other teachers if you have yard duty.”

“My weekend was crazy. My sisters were driving me crazy. The only thing that was good was that we got to go to a wedding.”

“It was a good day. I like to come to school. School is the best thing ever. I want to be a teacher when I grow up.” #presh

“I have never been embarrassed, except that one time.”

“My special skill is that I can peel 20 oranges in less than 15 minutes.”

“I said, ‘What’s that place called? The chicken guy, no no, umm CFC.’ So one said, ‘KFC!’ and I was like, ‘Pff I could have that right.'” #sure



Okay. Sometimes kids just say the darndest things! Since beginning my student teaching, I’ve found myself struggling not to laugh on multiple occasions, and sometimes inadvertently bursting out in laughter. Here are a few prime quotes.

“A tongue twister is a lot of rhymes that make your tongue go numb when you say them.”

“Green Eggs and Ham is by Dr. Suess. Obviously.” (in his writing journal)

“Miss Blair, are you wearing white shorts under your skirt?” #windydays

“I have a talent of doing a handstand for ten minutes.”
“Ten minutes???”
“I meant ten seconds.” #commonmixup

“I like that song because it makes me think of Jesus!” #presh

“I believe in cash.”

“I believe one day I will be the richest man in America.”
“Oh yeah? How will you do that?”
“I’m going to mine really hard all the time.”
“What will you mine?”
“Gold, of course.”


Fall 2012 Quotes

Mike: Waiting to read Harry Potter until you have kids is like waiting to repent until right before you die.

Mama: Sometimes when I was reading Harry Potter, I’d find myself praying for him in my nightly prayers.

Amber: Wait, you have four nonmember friends? How on earth did you find them?
Jonathan: They’re Asian.

Uncle Spence: There are two kinds of people in this world– the ones you love, and the ones you don’t know.

Nate: Are you a Harry Potter junkie?
Amber: You mean like a Harry Potter nerd? Absolutely, and proud of it.
Nate: You guys are going to take over this campus. You’re everywhere!

Tiffany: So, I came to our new ward on the first day, and I was like, “There’s something missing!” and then I realized it’s because there weren’t any Freshmen. There’s just a different feel without the Freshmen. You can tell when they aren’t there.

Dr. D: The Holy Spirit was urim and thummiming in Pope Gregory’s ear.

Madison: Someday I’m going to throw a tomato at someone.

DB: Heavy Metal is indebted to Hindemith and Brahms.

Bro. Burroughs: My pants are from Tokyo, my shirt is from Malasia, my shoes are from Indonesia, and my underwear is from Salt Lake City.

Mike: You know, I think James just needed to go on a mission before Lily could fall in love with him.

Bro. Tueller: Welcome to History 202. It’s good to see your bright and shiny faces.
Madison: Shiny. That makes me feel oily.

Bro. Walker: It’s kind of interesting how the PCC has used Polynesian men as a marketing thing.

Amber: I just love teasing you guys.
Nate: I don’t feel teased in the slightest.

Amber: So, I was doing research on Machaut for Music History, and I read that he used canons much less than his predecessors. Were canons regularly used in the Middle Ages?
DB: Um, no. Did you check what kind of canon it was? Canon or Cannon?
Amber: Ohhhhh. I was so excited about the idea of the Masses employing explosives, and using it in my Beethoven orchestration!

Mike: Here’s what you should tell your president: I’m your mission’s biggest asset. When I arrive, business will boom!

Little boy 1: When are you going to get an ear ring?
Little boy 2: I’m not going to.
Little boy 1: Why not?
Little boy 2: Because the prophet doesn’t have an ear ring, and I might be the prophet someday!

Kristen: I love Once Upon A Time.
Amber: Me too. I love Psych.
Kristen: I know you do.
Amber: I also love Chuck. And I actually still love the Office, even though it’s bad and I don’t watch it anymore. Still loving the Office now is like still loving a child who’s gone astray.

Nate: I’m going to be an uncle! I need a good pamphlet to read on how to be an uncle. And a good uncle name.

Amber: Whoa, look at our scores!
Bethany: Amber, I’m so happy for us!

Amber: I submitted my mission papers before they made the announcement.
Amber: I had a gmail account when you still had to be invited to join.
Amber: I was watching those Mac ads before they were popular.
Amber: I submitted my papers before everyone was submitting their papers.
Amber: I was planning on going on a mission way before everyone was planning on going.
Amber: I was in Young Womens before they had virtue.
Amber: I got my Gospel in Action before they switched to Faith in God.
Amber: Pluto was a planet when I was growing up.

Mr. Taniguchi: Joseph’s wife is going to give birth any day now. If she goes into labor during the concert, can you jump off the stage and sedate her?

Sarah (Engaged; Taiwanese; in presence of fiance): Elder Bednar is my favorite speaker. He’s so handsome!

Sunday School teacher: Let’s get to know Coco. Ask her a question. Any question.
Japanese male class member: How much do you weigh?

Amber: Hugh Jackman is so attractive.
Ben: That’s what I’ve heard. I can’t quite share your sympathies.
Amber: Um, you aren’t supposed to be sympathetic about that.
Ben: I mean I can’t quite share your attraction.

Lug: Lind, he’s really nice, and he makes good comments in class, and he asks me questions. Like, he asked me without any prompting if I named my piano. I mean, who just does that?”

Kali: So we have Mother Earth and Father–
Matt: Christmas!

Kali: In the Mormon church, we worship basketball.

Kali: I’m from Hau’ula, which is the best place in the world. We’re famous in Hau’ula, because we have a 7-11.

Addison: [seeing a friend request] Do you recognize this name?
Amber: I don’t know anyone named Noel.
Addison: Oh, she’s probably a fan. [He was being serious.]

Amber: Okay, when I find this, I’ll post it to your wall.
Addison: I don’t have a wall.
Amber: Uhhh yeah you do.
Addison: No, I have a timeline.
Amber: I’ve never heard anyone call it that before.
Addison: That’s because that’s what it was when we were first on facebook. Now think about it, when little kids get older and have facebook, they’ll only know it as Timeline.
Amber: We had facebook before there was Timeline.

Ben: Sarah, will you take my test for me?
Sarah: Sure, but I’d do absolutely nothing.
Ben: Does anyone want to go and figure out all the codes for me so that I can take the test on my ipad, and cheat out of the book here. I’ve always wanted to cheat and get away with it. Does anyone want to do that for me?
Sarah: Does anyone want to go to Hell for Ben?
Ben: Who’s dedicated enough to go to Hell for me?

Ben: Men aren’t afriad of cockroaches!
Amber: Yeah, but they are afraid of women, who are afraid of cockroaches.
Sarah: Addison, are you afriad of woman?
Amber: Are you afraid of WOMEN?
Sarah: My mouth’s full of food. I can’t say “women”, I have to say “woman”, or else my food will fall out of my mouth.
Addison:Yes, I’m terrified of women.
[conversation about pronunciation of women for several moments]
Amber: Every man is afraid of women.

Ben: I’d rather be famous than infamous.

Dr. Bradshaw: If you don’t know how to do plain vanilla, you’ll never get a chocolate chip!

Dr. Bradshaw: That’s something you can just shout at a backstreet fight– ‘Oh yeah? Bizbigliando!’
Ben: Backstreet fights must have been different where you grew up.

Dr. Bradshaw: We should get started with class so we can study brass. Let’s stop rhyming right there, for they go we know not where.

Summer Quotes

Dell: Jaimie, that’s ESPN!

Dell: Picking up trash is very economically friendly.

Lira (my Relief Society president): Let me know if you need anything. I’m just facebook away.

Amber: Just remember, you’ll always have Haleiwa.

Amber: Are you afraid of being a dork?
Adam: I was.
Brian: Just embrace it.

Madison: Oh, they changed Night Show times! I have to reevaluate my whole life now.

Preston: Sour cream is a reminder of how much Heavenly Father loves us.

Netina: In the Olden Days, when my grandma went to school here…

Madison (Anthropology major): I hate people. It’s not even a secret. I hate people. [It’s true.]

Amber: Cassie, how do I make sure this doesn’t happen to me?
Cassie: Have a baby out of wedlock?
Amber: No! Have my pintrest info appear on my facebook.

Madison: I need your ear.

Amber: Mike, I’m so happy to hear your voice!
Mike: Me too!

Dr. K: I was blissfully unaware of the Blackboard issues last night. Ignorance is bliss, and that’s why I’m such a happy person.

Amber: You said ‘tarantula’ wrong when you were talking to that kid.
Madison: THAT KID? That kid’ is my life

Madison: Addison, if you got the Woodstock tie, I would literally throw rotten vegetables at you.

Devin: We’re just losing pepperonis each time we’re late.

Netina: My mom, she’s really really old, but she can still read, and she still plays the piano.”

Madison: I walked into the library and I saw you, and I was like, ‘Whoa. Flirt Sesh.’
Amber: I do not flirt!
Madison: You do. Everyone flirts. If you didn’t flirt, I’d disown you for being an alien.

Some crazy teacher we talked about in an education class: I’m only here to help those students who got 86% of higher. The rest of you need to just sit and fix your problems by yourself. [Holy cow.]

Brother Winstead: You work with me, or I’ll shoot you in the face with a bazooka.

Brother Winstead: We [educators] really do well on things badly, and then we perpetuate it.

Brother Winstead: Moses didn’t say when he brought down the 10 commandments, ‘Thou shalt start with Chapter 1.’

Brother Winstead: Scare those little suckers to death: ‘What’s she going to do tomorrow?’ and then proceed.

Heidi: I don’t remember knowing how to count in Kindergarten!
Brother Winstead: Well, you should’ve failed Kindergarten.

Brother Sharp: Why is everyone talking? Look at me and pretend like I’m important.

Brother Sharp: I think this needs to be changed, because I’m a nut job. I disagree with Hugh Nibley. I think he’s overrated.

Brother Sharp: In my opinion, (I would say humble, but I’m not particularly humble)…

Dr. D: You start getting used to [hearing music without a downbeat] and then it’s like a drug, and you just say, ‘Oh my gosh, that’s so hip!’

Thomas: [Identifying a high F] That would be a C.
Amber: Um, no. Every good boy…
Thomas: Deserves chocolate! Oh no, deserves fudge.

Lauren: [talking about new stuff in our house] Every time I take a shower, its like, ‘Woo-hoo!’

Dr. K: You don’t have to agree with me just because I’m standing up here in the front of the room, with a tie on.

[After watching a clip from the Bollywood Bride and Prejudice]
Dr. K: Pride and Prejudice is Austen, right?
[much laughter from girls]
Dr. K: Well, I knew it was Bronte or Austen or one of those.”
Holly: How could you mix those up???
Dr. K: My stock just went way down with Holly.

Elder Oaks: Brothers and Sisters, Aloha. People love that you can say that here. Mainlanders even try to imitate you. They’ll stand up and say ‘Good evening” or something meaningless like that.

Elder Oaks: I’m going to try to call this scripture up on this infernal machine, which I haven’t quite learned how to use yet. The reason I call it an infernal machine is because I”m not very technological. President Packer required us all to get ipads.

Lug: Leen, you have one inch of hair.
Amber: Literally.
Leen: Less.
Lug: You have one inch of hair, cut in half lengthwise.

 Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. ”
— James Thurber

Sumer 2012 Quotes

I can never remember quotes. Like ever. So this is probably about 15% of the funny things that were said this term, even with all my “remind me to write that down! Don’t forget!”s. So yeah. Behold.

“I can’t believe you didn’t pay for any of your music! I’m so scandalized.” “Well, someone paid for it. And I did pay for some of it, like when someone gave me an itunes gift card.” -M

“Vienna is wine.” -L

“Clayton, do you know ‘He Lives in You’?” “Well yeah. I sing it in the shower like everyday!”

“Ah, do we have to sit by a vegetarian?” -Marie

“Us singing at the same time is a tender moment? If that’s a tender moment, then every moment is a tender moment for us.” “Yeah, our lives are tender moments.” -A and M

“If the Jazz were playing the Red Sox, I would be biased towards the Jazz.” -M

“Conlan has turned a new tree!” -Leen

“His last name’s Karate? I want to marry him, so I can have that last name.” “No you don’t. He has webbed feet.” -Clayton and Chelsea

“My whole life is based on Hook and Fantasia.” -Dan

“I wonder if facebook supports polygamy?” -Clayton [It doesn’t. We found out.]

“May the 5th be with you!” -Matthew

“Due to my current physiological state, I will not be swimming today.” -A

“I will be Alpha! Just wait and see.” -A

“There are two things I know for sure: I’m going to die, and the gospel is true.” -ward member, in Sac. Mtg. talk

“If I wasn’t in the show, I’d probably go once, then be disgusted with myself and go home and take a shower and watch Lord of the Rings while I cry myself to sleep.” -Clayton

“Don’t count your grandkids before they hatch.” -Dell

“I have to marry a trombone player.” -Lug [Freudian slip! Freudian slip!]

“Married life is awesome. My wife hasn’t elbowed me in the eye for like a month!” -Michael

“Often I look at the armies of EFY kids, and the first word that comes to mind is ‘WHY?’, and right after ‘Lord of the Rings orks’.” -Lug

“You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world myst be a better plance for our presence.” -Pres. Hinckley

“I’ve ordered some Confucius Family Liquor for us all.” -Bro. Lane

“Don’t worry that people won’t recognize your merits. Worry that you won’t recognize theirs.” 


“Every time I go to bed at night, I remind myself how cool I am because I sleep with a stuffed animal.” -M

“Until FoodFest, I didn’t realize how popular I was!” -Brooke

“I only got two cold wings and a meatball. But it’s okay. I need to watch my figure anyway.” -Dan

“When I finish eating something, my wife takes the plate immediately and puts it in the dishwasher, whereas I would like to just put it in the sink and let it enjoy life for a while.” -Bro. Lane

“When the best rulers achieve their purpose, their subjects claim the achievement as their own.” 

-Taoist teaching

“I really love men’s choirs. They’re pretty much my favorite thing in the world.” -A

“I just really like men in general. They’re up there with my favorite things.” -Suzie

“I haven’t seen The Little Mermaid in forever!” -A

“I try to watch it about once a week.” -Chelsea

“Oh blast! I forgot to write my tithing check!” -A

“You can borrow one of my checks, if you’d like.” -M

 “So, I was preparing the roast pig for Luau a few years ago, and a took a bite of it, and I turned to my co-worker, and I was like, ‘Hey! This tastes just like bacon!’ and he thought I was an idiot.” -Shaun

“The only things I love are Canadians.” -Lug

“I am sad that my phone, I mean my car, I mean my house…I mean my fan…!!” -Amber

Winter 2012 Quotes

“I don’t know music.” -Lauryn
“Wait, Mozart was Classical, right?” Lauryn

“Did you know this was filmed in Hungaria?” -Madison

“Amber, I just spilled chocolate on my skirt. I know that’s what you’d do if you were here.”-Sophie

“Our ward is so handsome! I’m really glad I teach Sunday School so I can look out and say, “you’re hott. you’re hott. you’re hott.’ “

“Is 1000 meters a mile?” -Madison

“Sometimes I just want to make Heavenly Father a plate of cookies. …” -Janelle

“That’s so Europe-esque.”-Madison

“Les Miserables changed my life. Well,the music was absolutely fantastic.” “The musical that changed my life was Wicked.” “The musical that changed my life was Sweeny Todd.” -Suan, Amber, Dan

“Have you ever just been sitting in your room, alone, not knowing what to do, and you just think, ‘I wonder how to blow up a dumpster.’ ?” -Shaun

“I wish my life was in sepia, because I look beautiful in sepia.” -Sarah Tovey

“Just go buy a smart phone.” “I’m too poor.” “Well, just have your parents buy you a smart phone!” “They’re too poor too. We’re all poor!” “Well, ask your grandma to buy you one. Oh wait, she’s dead.” “My grandma’s not dead!” -Amber and Madison

“We all agree that music is among the most delightful and pleasant things, whether instrumental or accompanied by singing, so one might from that fact alone infer that the young should be taught it…” ~Aristotle

“Listening to begining violin students is like getting a lobotomy.” -Katie K

“Dell. It never says in the Humpty Dumpty rhyme that he was an egg.” “I know! For all we know, he could have been a violin!”

“I’m just really hoping that no one else was thinking of asking me [to Winter Ball] because I would hate to have to tell him no. That would stink for the guy.” -Sarah C

“Who should we invite?” “Do we have any other friends? [besides Amber and Madison]” “No, I don’t think so.” -Lauryn and Amber

“I put Nathan in the friend zone right when I met him. But he took himself right out of it.” -Lauryn

“I don’t see the potential for either of us to be heartbroken anytime in the near future.” “I just want to have this playlist to I can give it to other people.” “I wasn’t aware we knew any other people.” -Madison and Amber

“Peanut butter and pie. That’s like you and Tessie in one human!” -Madison

“Red hair can get you places. It was the bane of my life when I was a kid, but as I got older, I found that people really respect those of us with red hair. You’d be surprised.” -Dr. D

“It’s the eye of the tiger, it’s the cream of the crop.” “Um, those aren’t the words.” -Lauryn

“Ian, don’t do anything you would do.” “Are you kidding? It’s Amber! She would kill me!” -Shaun and Ian

“How old is your husband?” “27.” “How old are you?” “I’m 24.” “Oh, so it’s not that big of an age difference.” “3 years. But you can totally tell the difference. He’s so mature, and I’m just this insignificant little girl.” -Hilary and Amber

“There’s going to be food there! Doesn’t that make you wish you could go?” “Well, I’m over food.” “WHAT? Food is what drives my life!” “I’m just done letting food drive me.” -A and Matthew

“If I looked at buff as I am, I would be ripped.” -Dan

“My uncle is the type that isn’t happy until someone’s crying. And he always tried to get kicked out of our family reunions.” -Clayton

“You should crash Cassie’s bachelorette party and spike the punch with Kava.” -Dan

“Oh man. I haven’t talked to [President Hinckley] in forever!” -Madison

“Make sure I like this [on facebook].” -Lauryn

“I don’t care if I bother people. I just care if they bother me. Which usually isn’t an issue because I just move as far away from them as possible.” -Madison

“Go for it, Jonah!” “Um, she’s a black belt.” -A & J

“OH! I was trying to figure out why LMN was familiar. It’s because it’s the alphabet!” -Madison

“Peeps are just diabetes in bird form.”

“You look like someone from a horror movie.” -Hilary to Amber C.

“Can you give me an example of a low pitch in your daily life?” “Darth Vadar.” -Mariko and Eve (piano pedagogy; Eve is 9)

“Lug, you taught me what a pet peeve is. You also taught me some swear words.” -A

“You’re not all bananas. You’re all fruits. Some of you are peaches, some of you are plums. Some of you are mangoes. And some of you are nuts.” -DB

“Chromatic trichord? That’s Satan’s theme!” -DB

“It feels so good when it’s right.” “I feel like that’s a song.” “It is, but it’s probably not talking about a kazoo.”

“The Second Viennese School loves the chromatic trichord.” “Did you go to that school?” -A and DB [the second viennese school is not a school. This was an extremely stupid question.]

“Oh my goodness! That’s OMG, right?” -Dr. B.

“You think Mozart makes babies smarter?” “That’s what my parents say.” “You throw this right back in their face: Zelda makes babies smarter.”

“If you see a person with a nose ring, you know they’re evil.”

“We are all walking-talking, ticking-tocking polyrythms.”

“A 12-tone matrix is really child’s play.”

“What do you call your mother-in law? Do you call her mom?” “No, I call her Louise.” “Oh, you’re one of those people?” “Her name is Mary. And sometimes I call her Gunther.” -A and DB

“Guys in tuxes just make me shiver. It’s not possible to not look nice in a suite.” -Suzy

“Do you have a question?” “No.” “Well, let me know if I can help, because I’d really like to help, as you’re doing your course evaluations.” “Now throw in a spiritual connection.” “You’re all going to Hell.” -BM

“I don’t like Ms. When I teach, I’m gonna be Miss Blair.” “But when you get married, you’ll be Mrs. Blair. Actually, you’ll never be Mrs. Blair. You’ll have to be Mrs. Blair-Schlniklefritz. You can hyphenate that.” A and DB

“I’ve never met a Matthew I didn’t like.” -Aria

“You look nice, Brooke!” “I didn’t try.”

“You have a very adorable sneeze.” “Does anyone have tissues?” “I have an umbrella.” -DB, Amber C., Hilary

“As you can see, Milton Babbitt is quite old.” “He wasn’t always that way.” -DB and Aria

“You don’t have an oven? So you can’t make enchiladas or anything like that!” -girl in ed class

“You could do it like my wife and me and never date. We met at Institute.” -Dr. B.

“Think about David slaying the Philistines. When you play Liszt, you have to take off your toupee.” -Bro. McCarrey

“Don’t do anything rash like quite this class or punch your mother-in-law.” -DB

“I’m down with cheese and crackers.” “Your feet are down with cheese and crackers.” -Aria and DB

“Jonah. Oh ye of little Putlocker knowledge.” -Madison

“Guys, my left hippocampus is just a trooper.” -Amber

“If I had no morals, I would be a hippie.” -A

“How does Jonah get so much sleep? I mean, he’s not a cat or a baby or an old person, so I don’t know how he does it!.” -M

“This may sound odd, but I really like my teeth. Some of my worst nightmares have been about my teeth falling out!.” -M