shazzamber

There’s a Crack in Everything

My thoughts today center on being okay with not being perfect. Unfortunately, that’s something I can’t say I’ve achieved. However, I’m working on it.

I was studying 1 Nephi 10 the other day, and a few verses really stuck out to me.

First was verse 6.

My favorite part of that verse is the last line– “UNLESS they should rely on this Redeemer.” (That’s the direct Spanish translation.) We’re not fallen if we rely on the Lord!

Then verse 10.
It’s just talking about what Jesus will do when He’s on Earth, and the last line brings me peace. It says Jesus will “take away the sins of the world.”

Duh. I already knew that. I’ve read this verse a million times.

But He will TAKE AWAY our shortcomings! They will be gone! We will one day be perfect!

I can’t really explain why I care so much about being perfect. I know we aren’t expected to be perfect now, and I know we just need to do our best. But the idea that Jesus will take away our sins and make us perfect brings me more comfort that I can convey through words. What a relief.

Then on top of that, He gives us weaknesses to bring us closer to Him. This song speaks deeply to me. I hate that I have weaknesses, or cracks. But that’s how the Light gets in.

2017 Resolutions

Oh hey. If you’re curious, these are some of my New Year’s resolutions:

Exercise 20 minutes/ day
Daily and weekly planning
Go to a therapist
Record good things I do every day
Accept criticism, but don’t take it personally
Focus on the things I want to grow
Go to Europe
Read one book/ month
Attitude of gratitude
Become a music teacher
Listen to one conference talk/ day
Run a marathon
Positive self-talk

2017 will be my best year so far. Cheers!

November Book: Speak

I haven’t written about my books for a while, but I’ve still been reading. November’s book was recommended by one of my favorite professors. He taught High School English before becoming a professor, so he and I got along really well.

One day we were talking about “cannon” literature, and I was saying how important I thought it was to read the Classics. He surprised me by responding that he didn’t place as high a value on the Classics as Modern literature. He said he felt modern literature resonated more with modern students, because it deals with actual issues of our day. I was initially mildly offended, but I’ve given thought to his opinion, and I see where he’s coming from. Modern literature does raise discussions that are more relevant to the life of a Generation Z teenager. (That awkward moment when Millennials are all grown up.)

So Speak. (Subtitle: The groundbreaking novel that changed everything.) Melinda is 13 years old and just beginning her first year of High School. She ruined a wild back-to-school party by calling 911, and now everyone hates her. The actual incident that caused her to call the cops isn’t revealed until later in the book, but once she’s able to speak up and talk about it, everything changes. Powerful story. Not 6th grade.

I’m interested in others’ thoughts on Classic vs. Modern literature. Pros and cons? Is one better? Is Hawthorne timeless? (Obvi HP is a Classic.)

Making a Difference

Yesterday, I told my mentor teacher that I want to be a music teacher. This is our subsequent conversation:

Me: Teaching just isn’t what I expected.
Her: What did you expect?
Me: Well, I thought I’d be making a difference all the time.
Her: You are making a difference.
Me: Well, I’m not happy. I want to be a music teacher.
Her: I thought you said you want to make a difference.
Me: Uhh yeah. Music changes lives!
Her: Science, math, and language arts are what change lives. That’s how the kids will get jobs. If you want to change lives, general education is the way. They don’t need music.
Me: *Internal screaming and disagreeing with every fiber of my being.*

When I think of my teachers that changed my life, the first ones that come to mind are Mr. Larson, Mrs. Chantry, Mrs. Jensen, and Dr. Fullmer. Music teachers absolutely make a difference. I want to be a music teacher so I can help kids see a more beautiful side of the human experience. So they can have tools to cope when life gets hard. So they can learn to work hard at something and achieve great results. So they can appreciate something that took more than 30 seconds to create. Kids need music.

Everybody needs music. My music teachers continue to change my life.

Thoughts on Hard Times

I’m pretty sure no one reads my blog anymore, so I’m just going to be super honest today: I am currently going through the hardest time of my life. I thought my mission was kind of hard, but teaching 6th grade at Escalante Elementary under the current administration (something like Umbridge, to give you an idea) makes the mission feel like a Disney cruise.

I love my kiddos, and I won’t abandon them in the middle of the year. But no amount of money could entice me to stay at this school another year.

This morning I was writing Lauren, and Elder Holland’s Mormon Message about good things to come came into my mind. Heavenly Father gives us hard times because He loves us, and He wants to help us grow. I know that this will give me experience and be for my good, and I’m trying to keep that perspective. As long as I stay faithful to my covenants, which I will, everything will be okay.

Be Still

I had bedbugs for like 4 weeks of my mission, and I have said that the bedbugs represent the single most difficult time of my life. I was literally covered in bites (hundreds), everything in our house was put into black garbage sacks, we were heavily drugged on benadryl to control the excessive itching, we had to sleep on the floor, the Spirit was not in our apartment, and it was just uncomfortable in every way.

Last week put that trial in the dust.

I NEVER expected Donald Trump to win the presidency. I even promised some of my kiddos that it would never happen, when they approached me in fear during the election.

Somehow our country let this happen, and we’re still in shock. I played this song for my class on Wednesday morning so they could write their feelings about the election, and I feel it’s appropriate for anyone grieving.

We can’t break character; we need to continue in love and acceptance, no matter who our president is.

I Know Why There’s a Teacher Shortage

The nation is currently experiencing a gigantic teacher shortage, and has declared a crisis. In fact, it’s such a crisis that they’ve decided anyone can be a teacher, with or without a degree or teaching license.

Thanks for the respect, America.

I always knew I wanted to be a teacher, from my earliest games of School and Kindergarten career day. I entered the field soon after graduating, excited to change the world one student at a time.

In the thick of my first year teaching full-time, my rose-colored glasses were forced off my face by a pressure kick to my back so powerful it caused my body to careen to the 40-year old stained carpet floor, leaving me face-down in years of Elmer’s glue, dirt, spit balls, and kid extract.

That kick came in the form of data analysis, which is essentially what teachers do these days.

We take the tests the kids will take, teach the content of that test, administer the test, grade the test, analyze that data, and repeat the cycle a million more times. Not fun.

Speaking of not being fun… I entered this field as a creative, young college graduate. My creativity was immediately stripped of me, because the District has no many required programs that don’t allow me to create or really adapt my teaching to meet the needs of my students. Teachers are not allowed creative autonomy, which prevents us from utilizing our resources and being the best teachers we could be.

Another reason there’s a teacher shortage is it’s really hard to feel good about yourself when you’re a teacher. Everything is our fault, and we get very little respect. Society is always criticizing us, parents are constantly complaining, and administrators are always telling us what we’re doing wrong. I’d rather be in a place where my hard work is appreciated and respected.

So there you have it. This is why such a high number of teachers quit within the first 5 years.

Take a Break

Happy UEA! Utah public schools are currently on break, which means I’ve had ample time to Netflix and chill the last few days.

Contrary to the practices of pretty much every teacher I had from 1st to 12th grade, I decided to not give my students homework over the break. More than one student said, “Miss Blair, are you going to give us a packet?” indicating years of conditioning by previous teachers. But I just responded, “Heck no! Do you know how much work that would be for me?”

But in all seriousness, I really don’t think the culture of homework packets over breaks is appropriate. The purpose of a break is to take a break, not get more work! Being able to take a break is a skill that I think teachers should be teaching. I also don’t give homework over the weekend, because again I think the kids should have a break.

So maybe my kiddos will be behind the other classes that did tons of extra work over UEA. But I think my kiddos will be better rested, and more prepared to return to school and dive back in.

13th

I love documentaries. They’re one of my favorite genres, and I delight in Netflix’s documentary selection. Last week I noticed a few Facebook posts about Netflix’s new documentary “13th”, and I found myself alone on a Friday night… So I decided to watch it.

Best decision ever.

It is by no means a “feel-good” film. It’s the opposite. I felt bad pretty much the whole hour and forty minutes. But feel-good movies don’t really empower us to change; this did.

“13th” explores the consequences of the 13th amendment, which gave every man the right to vote UNLESS he’d been convicted of a felony. Racisms continues in the United States today, with Lord Voldemort aka Donald Trump leading his Death Eaters aka Trump supporters all over the country.

Please watch 13th. It could change your life.

That #threefictionalcharacters trend

You know the #threefictionalcharacters thing that was going crazy on social media this week? I usually don’t hop on those bandwagons, including changing your profile picture to be the French flag, but I thought this one was fun.

I chose Hermione Granger, Anne Shirley, and Emma Woodhouse.

I esteem Hermione more highly than possibly any other fictional character of all time, so I feel somewhat prideful including her in fictional characters that represent me. Nonetheless, I aspire to be more like Hermione, and I’d like to think we have a bit in common. For example, I love to read. I guess I love school, because I made it my career. I think friendship and loyalty are the most important things in this life, and I hope that I could be as loyal and true as Hermione is.

I chose Anne Shirley because I feel like we share a passion for life. We’re also sometimes shamelessly outspoken and tactless. And I’d like to say we’d do anything for the ones we love. She also became a teacher, and I hope to be as dedicated to my students as she was to hers. And Imma marry a Gilbert Blythe someday.

Emma. Reading Emma was a revelatory experience for me, because I became aware of several flaws I hadn’t previously recognized. I am prone to get myself involved in other people’s business when I shouldn’t, just like Emma. I’m also an avid match-maker. And Emma and I both almost always have good intentions, but often end up making big messes.

So that’s my #threefictionalcharacters.