The Big Breakup

Joyfully announcing my official breakup with…. the Internet.

Yeah yeah I know it’s 2018, and it’s literally not possible to completely sever ties with something so integral to our daily lives. (But does it have to be? Stay tuned.) So I’m not like never touching a web browser again. I do still have to check my email every day, and sometimes I like me a good NY Times article, and let’s be honest where else could I plug in all the random ingredients I have to figure out a meal I could make without having to go to the store?

But here’s the thing: I don’t need another voice making me feel inadequate. I already do that job just fine. By getting online I’m inviting other negative voices into my head, and they aren’t doing me any favors.

For example…. I’m on Pinterest this morning (mindlessly scrolling, what else?) and within the first five pins I pass, I’m treated to, “7 Reasons You Need to Have Sex With Your Husband Every Day” and “Eat This to Lose 10 Pounds in a Week.” First of all, how dare you tell me what I NEED to do? You don’t know me. I DON’T *need* to do anything. Also, my body is fine just the way it is, so back off.

But as strongly as I reacted, let me be completely honest: my first reaction was, “Wait, does everyone else have sex every day? We didn’t have sex yesterday. Maybe I’m a terrible wife…” and “I need to lose weight.” I didn’t have either of those thoughts until some anonymous person on the internet told me I’m not good enough.

That is unacceptable.

So I do concede– breaking up with the internet is not an option. But in the sense that I allow the internet to tell me how to feel about myself and my marriage and my body, THAT relationship must end. I need to learn to train myself to ignore the barrage of messages the internet sends. I guess it’s easier said than done, but I’m going to be working on it.