I can never remember quotes. Like ever. So this is probably about 15% of the funny things that were said this term, even with all my “remind me to write that down! Don’t forget!”s. So yeah. Behold.
“I can’t believe you didn’t pay for any of your music! I’m so scandalized.” “Well, someone paid for it. And I did pay for some of it, like when someone gave me an itunes gift card.” -M
“Vienna is wine.” -L
“Clayton, do you know ‘He Lives in You’?” “Well yeah. I sing it in the shower like everyday!”
“Ah, do we have to sit by a vegetarian?” -Marie
“Us singing at the same time is a tender moment? If that’s a tender moment, then every moment is a tender moment for us.” “Yeah, our lives are tender moments.” -A and M
“If the Jazz were playing the Red Sox, I would be biased towards the Jazz.” -M
“Conlan has turned a new tree!” -Leen
“His last name’s Karate? I want to marry him, so I can have that last name.” “No you don’t. He has webbed feet.” -Clayton and Chelsea
“My whole life is based on Hook and Fantasia.” -Dan
“I wonder if facebook supports polygamy?” -Clayton [It doesn’t. We found out.]
“May the 5th be with you!” -Matthew
“Due to my current physiological state, I will not be swimming today.” -A
“I will be Alpha! Just wait and see.” -A
“There are two things I know for sure: I’m going to die, and the gospel is true.” -ward member, in Sac. Mtg. talk
“If I wasn’t in the show, I’d probably go once, then be disgusted with myself and go home and take a shower and watch Lord of the Rings while I cry myself to sleep.” -Clayton
“Don’t count your grandkids before they hatch.” -Dell
“I have to marry a trombone player.” -Lug [Freudian slip! Freudian slip!]
“Married life is awesome. My wife hasn’t elbowed me in the eye for like a month!” -Michael
“Often I look at the armies of EFY kids, and the first word that comes to mind is ‘WHY?’, and right after ‘Lord of the Rings orks’.” -Lug
“You are good. But it is not enough just to be good. You must be good for something. You must contribute good to the world. The world myst be a better plance for our presence.” -Pres. Hinckley
“I’ve ordered some Confucius Family Liquor for us all.” -Bro. Lane
“Don’t worry that people won’t recognize your merits. Worry that you won’t recognize theirs.”
-Confucius
“Every time I go to bed at night, I remind myself how cool I am because I sleep with a stuffed animal.” -M
“Until FoodFest, I didn’t realize how popular I was!” -Brooke
“I only got two cold wings and a meatball. But it’s okay. I need to watch my figure anyway.” -Dan
“When I finish eating something, my wife takes the plate immediately and puts it in the dishwasher, whereas I would like to just put it in the sink and let it enjoy life for a while.” -Bro. Lane
“When the best rulers achieve their purpose, their subjects claim the achievement as their own.”
-Taoist teaching
“I really love men’s choirs. They’re pretty much my favorite thing in the world.” -A
“I just really like men in general. They’re up there with my favorite things.” -Suzie
“I haven’t seen The Little Mermaid in forever!” -A
“I try to watch it about once a week.” -Chelsea
“Oh blast! I forgot to write my tithing check!” -A
“You can borrow one of my checks, if you’d like.” -M
“So, I was preparing the roast pig for Luau a few years ago, and a took a bite of it, and I turned to my co-worker, and I was like, ‘Hey! This tastes just like bacon!’ and he thought I was an idiot.” -Shaun
“The only things I love are Canadians.” -Lug
“I am sad that my phone, I mean my car, I mean my house…I mean my fan…!!” -Amber