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I hope they call me on a mission
When I have grown a foot or two.
I hope by then I will be ready
To teach and preach and work as missionaries do.
I hope that I can share the gospel
With those who want to know the truth.
I want to be a missionary
And serve and help the Lord while I am in my youth.

Since my surgery, I have become SO EXCITED for my mission. I don’t really know why, but there was a change after I was home from the hospital. Maybe my right hippocampus was the less spiritual part of my brain, and now that that’s gone, I can finally focus on the reasons why I’m here, and do the Lord’s work. They have told us countless times that everyone here at BYU Hawaii is here for a reason– we all have something we need to do here. Before Conference, I prayed that I’d be able to know why I was supposed to come and what I need to do. At the very beginning, in Pres. Monson’s intro, he suddenly transitioned into talking about the importance of missionary work. When he did, I just started crying. That’s why I’m here! I’m here to prepare for a full-time mission, and I’m also here to be a missionary, light, and example to those around me because of the immense amount of blessings I’ve had in my life. I could not have asked for a better family, better friends, better teachers, a better ward, or better examples. So now I have a responsibility to give back.

It’s been a real blessing to be from Provo, for more reasons than one. First, I love it there. People sometimes make fun of kids from Provo, but they don’t know what it’s like there. They call it a bubble, and I suppose it is in some ways. But I honestly don’t have a problem growing up with people who have my same standards and beliefs, because we can build each other up and be examples of the believers together. Aside from that, it also leads to learning much about others. They’ll ask me where I’m from, and I tell them I’m from Provo. They inevitably ask why I didn’t go to BYU Provo, and then I tell them about how I wanted to experience cultural diversity and be able to learn from people with different experiences

I’ve still been thinking a lot about this whole “Mormon” thing. We’re studying in James in my New Testament class, and i found a segment that talked about that exact thing.

“Some of the Savior’s most severe denunciations were aimed at hypocrites- those who profess t do not. As members of the lord’s true church our professions are lofty. We are “called to be saints.” (Romans 1:7.) We should be the light of the world– a city set on a hill so that men will see our good works and glorify God (Matthew 5:14, 16) Sometimes the opposite is the case: we are recognized by what we don’t do rather than by what we do. The revelations indicate that the Saints will become such a positive force for good that those in the world will be constrained to acknowledge the power of God in us (D&C 105:32) This can come only as we do as we hear. “Not everyone that saith unto me Lord, Lord shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my father which is in heaven.” (Matthew 7:21)

Mormon: noun, an excuse or explanation for one’s actions; a source of identity

What is associated with being “Mormon”? Dictionary.com defines Mormon as “the popular name given to a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.” True. However, I think there is much more to it than that. What does it mean when you say, “I’m Mormon.”? The truth of the matter is that I don’t have hardly any experience in this field, because back where I come from, it doesn’t seem to mean a thing if someone says “I’m a Mormon.” What’s new? But really, what does one imply when they say that? Is it said with with hesitation and shame? Pride? Apologies? Explanation? I think in some cases people use it as a stereotype to arrange mental groups. And in other cases, I think people do it themselves, to set them apart from others. For example, “I’m a dancer, I’m happy, I like music, I’m Mormon, I play soccer…” And it’s not “I’m a Mormon”, it’s more “I’m Mormon.” That’s it: a label, a group, a niche.

So if we define ourselves as Mormons, what does that mean? We keep the Word of Wisdom. We attend 3 hours of church every week. We have big beautiful buildings that we don’t let anyone in to. Those are things associated with the church, and they do set us apart as a peculiar people, and perhaps that defines a “Mormon.” But what about a LATTER-DAY SAINT? Are Mormons Christian? Absolutely. We believe that we are God’s restored church on this earth, we have the full and everlasting gospel, and the gospel is the good news. Not the health code. A good Christian and a good Latter-Day Saint should be synonymous. We are Good Samaritans, we are always in the service of our fellow men, we love the Lord and are striving to be like him, we are servants of the Lord and want to bring the joy and blessings that we receive after baptism to as many people as we can, we don’t judge, we are selfless, we believe in eternal families and treat our families with love and respect… THAT should be what defines a “Mormon.” Then no one would ever have to ask if Mormons are Christian, because of the light that shines in our eyes, and because of our Christlike actions.

The other day, my roommate asked me if I considered myself to be a Molly Mormon, and I didn’t know what to say. Sure, I guess. I do what I think is right, not because I’m “Momon”, but because I think it’s right. So I suppose in a way, I am. And you know? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. Because maybe a “Molly Mormon” is just another name for a Latter-Day Saint.

I apologize for another song. I imagine they’re not very interesting to read, but I do love writing them. I’ll write something more substantial concerning my new life soon. But until then, HELLO HAWAII!

Hello Hawaii, I am a college student
In the hills and highlands
I fall asleep in hospital parking lots
And awake in your mouth

Hello Hawaii, I am a mantaray
Deep beneath the blue waves
I’ll crawl the sandy bottom of Pounders Beach
And construct a summer home

Hello Hawaii, I am the crescent moon
Shining down on your face
I will disguise myself as a sleeping pill
And descend inside of you

Hello Hawaii, I am a cold seahorse
Feeling warm in your sand
I sing about the tide and the ocean surf
Rolling in the evening breeze

Hello Hawaii, I am an albatross
On the docks and your boats
I sail above your inlets and interstates
Through the rain and open wind

Hello Hawaii, I am an old lighthouse
Throwing beams of bright lights
Red in the morning, blue in the evening sun
Taking heed from everyone

Hello Hawaii, I am a mountaineer
In the hills and highlands
I fall asleep in hospital parking lots

Take me above your light
Carry me through the night
Hold me secure in flight
Sing me to sleep tonight

Take me above your light
Carry me through the night
Hold me secure in flight
Sing me to sleep tonight

Amber’s meditation on change reminds me that I’ve also been living in a whirlwind of change. After 24 years of formal education, my student days are now officially over. I am starting two (or maybe three or four) new jobs. And I’m getting married. Whew! Talk about fodder for an identity crisis. Who in the world is “Dr. Case” anyway? Not me. But in a few months, it will be. There’s so much I can’t anticipate, let alone imagine.

Change is hard, but change is good. Really, it’s one of the few things we can absolutely count on. The trick is figuring out how to be steady in the wind, peaceful in the heart, and faithful in the soul while also keeping yourself open to productive metamorphosis, a painfully vulnerable state. Prayer helps. Actually, prayer is a necessity during times of personal upheaval. So is meaningful scripture study, honest communication, and a sense of humor. I’ve found that ice-cream and chocolate are also great analgesics. Yet, having all these things in place doesn’t guarantee that the uncertainty won’t sometimes be terrifying, like jumping-off-a-cliff-into-unknown-waters terrifying. No wonder I so often spend way too long perched precariously on the edge of change. But that’s the fear-based perspective. The faith-based perspective presents an entirely different view. Instead of falling, we can think of the potential for flying, trusting the Lord when He says He will “bare you on eagles’ wings, and [bring you] unto myself” (Exodus 19:4).

Here’s to stepping off the edge.

To see more writing by this renowned Doctor of Philosophy, please visit her website .

*pictures courtesy of a sarcastic editor 🙂

I’d like to recommend that you read Sophie’s Blog. I wrote a song for her called “Follow Me”, based on the fantastic John Denver, because she so much wants people to follow her blog. So go ahead and read and be inspired. And watch the great Youtube I added. Oh, and she’d love a comment even more.

I absolutely can’t stand change. When the winds of change blow, they are sometimes light zephyrs, sometimes modest gales, and occasionally tempestuous typhoons, raging wildly, threatening to suck your entire soul into a whirlwind of destruction. But when I think of change as being like the wind, I realize that it can be a very good thing. I remember running a particularly miserable race last year– it was a pretty hilly course, the temperature was probably somewhere between 100 and 120 degrees, and I happened to be very dehydrated. One of the toughest parts of the course was a ridiculously vast expanse of dry yellow grass that seemed to last forever. But as I turned one of the corners of the field, feeling ready to pass away at any second, a glorious breeze hit me and carried me through the last 800 meters of the race. In that instance, the change was welcome. However, as this absurd Utah weather started to kick in a while later, the previously scorching hot days turned to days of wind and rain. One of our track meets even got canceled halfway through because of the wind. (I’m not complaining.) But at the region track meet, for some odd reason or another, they decided to hold the meet despite multiple tents blowing over. I ran the mile, and I experienced the most horrible, tiring resistance running I’ve ever done. I felt like the wind was working against me in every way, and my time was nearly two minutes slower than usual. Here the wind was my adversary, laughing evilly as it tried to thrust me down into endless misery and woe in the darkest chambers of the Track Black Hole.

As I’ve been thinking about the immense changes that are about to happen in my life, I feel that I’m about to be thrust into the heart of a storm, running against the wind as I try to move forward. But last night I realized that even though almost literally everything in my life is about to change, one thing will remain constant: the Savior. He is always near me, though I do not see Him there, and because He loves me dearly, I am in His watchful care. The most important thing in my life will never change, and I know He is what I can hold onto in this incoming tornado of change. He will calm the storms in my life and turn them into testimony-building and faith-promoting experiences as I become more reliant on Him. And as my cousin Josh said in a recent letter about one of their struggling investigators, “my faith is deeper than my fears.”

So really, I guess it’s just the way you look at the wind. It may just be hurling you forward at an uncomfortably fast speed right into a sunny field of peace, later returning to cool the eventual sweaty heat and sunburn. I say full speed ahead. Actually I don’t.

“The miracle isn’t that I finished. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.” -John Bingham

Do you find yourself struggling to find ways to spend your time? If you’re looking to waste time, here are some helpful ideas that are guaranteed to leave you saying, “I honestly can’t believe I just wasted part of my life doing that!” In fact, we are so certain that these “activities” will leave you with a less-than-satisfied feeling that if you feel even remotely satisfied, we’ll offer a complete refund for the time you spent reading these time-wasting options. (undefined amount of time, may involve a time machine)

1. Watch the same movie trailers/ youtube videos over and over again
2. Redesign your blog multiple times
3. Read very low-quality, low-substance books
4. Watch very low-quality, low-substance movies
5. Sit on your couch gazing off into space
6. Go on facebook
7. Repeatedly walk into your kitchen, each time opening the fridge, realizing you have no food, then walking out again
8. Play Yahtzee with yourself
9. Simply decide to just stay in your bed for hours at a time
10. Go to despair.com and read all of the demotivators for the 100th time

Of course, I haven’t done any of these things this summer. I just came up this list of what someone really dumb and boring might do if they happened to have some extra time on their hands. After all, if you’re bored, you’re a boring person. (p.s. I hope the hint of sarcasm was evident…)