I had a major realization today: somehow, in the last month or so, I acquired a ton of confidence.
That’s kind of weird, because I’m pretty sure I asked the Lord for confidence about ten thousand times on my mission, and I’m pretty sure if you read my journals from my Sophomore and Junior years of college, you would never label me as confident. I was a Music major, struggling to compete with all the other Asians #realstereotypes and let’s just say it was rough on me. We’ve all been there.
Anyway, on my mission, I really worked on the whole positive self-talk and talking back to negative thinking thing. For most of my mission it was a battle. The critical voices in my head just wouldn’t shut up.
Yesterday I went to the temple, and I became aware of new voices in my head. They were kind, loving, and positive. They were the way I try to talk to others, but somehow never really get around to using for myself. They made me happy!
Is it because I suddenly started getting asked out all the time? Heck no. I haven’t been on a date in months. Is it because I lost a ton of weight and started getting compliments? Haha nope. I don’t even have time to work out anymore. I think it’s because I absolutely love what I’m doing.
I loved my mission with all my heart. I loved being Hermana Blair, an official representative of Jesus Christ and full-time servant of the Lord. But now I love being Miss Blair, a civilian representative of Jesus Christ and third-grade teacher. These kids need me, and I LOVE MY JOB.
I think that’s the secret. I’m doing what I love. I loved sharing the Gospel, but that was a different season of my life, and the Lord had other lessons for me to learn. His timing is perfect.