Recent conversation with an old man in a hot tub:
Old man: Have you ever thought about how different your life would be if you had big, blue eyes?
Me: *laughs nervously*
Old man: I hope you’re old enough to get left-handed compliments.
Me: *continues to laugh nervously*
Old man: How old are you, anyway?
Old man: *Looks aghast* Well, that’s going to work out really well for you. You look 15.
Me: *fake smiles*
This happens to me allllll the time. I’ll get a half-day sub, and he or she will come into my classroom and say, “Wait, you’re the teacher? I thought you were one of the students!”
PSA: Being told you look 12 is not flattering at all. It is not a compliment.
So what the heck do I do? I don’t care thaaat, much… But I’d like to get married, and I don’t think anyone’s going to want to marry me if they think I’m 15.
Unfortunately this is an unresolved issue in my life, so I can’t write about the solution. I just want to be taken seriously, and teenagers are the last demographic on earth that will be taken seriously. My bad for not looking my full quarter of a century.
1. Pay my tithing ($100,000)
2. Put $500,000 in a savings account
3. Pay off my car. Actually probs buy a new one.
4. Donate a good sum to the Church’s humanitarian fund
You know, I honestly don’t believe my lifestyle would change. I would continue to shop at Trader Joe’s every week. I wouldn’t go buy expensive clothes, because I can get really cute, cheap clothes at Plato’s Closet. I wouldn’t quit my job, because I enjoy having a purpose. I’ve already paid for my upcoming Europe trip, and the money in the savings account would be for future travel. I have a comfortable lifestyle, and I don’t see any reason for it to change. I have everything I need.
I guess it comes down to knowing how to manage money, and living within our means.
I’m realizing this sounds super first world-y… I’m aware that my privilege is far above most of the world, so I just want to conclude in gratitude for the amazing circumstances with which I am blessed.
Yesterday I went running in the canyon above my house. Prior to this run, I’d been operating under the misconception that a paved road above the Capitol building was the canyon. Boy was I wrong.
My friend and I ran along the road I’d previously believed to be the canyon, and then met another friend at a gate. We walked through the gate and followed a trail into a grove of trees. For the next two hours, we explored miles of the canyon on snow-packed trails I didn’t even know existed. All that time I’d been running on pavement!
Trail running is my favorite, and I never knew I had an actual canyon in my backyard! It got me thinking about how much is available in this life that we may not even know about.
*That money-saving app called Honey that I need to install
*Paying tithing online
And the list goes on. As creatures of habit, we get comfortable in our ways. I always order the same soup and sandwich at Zupas. I usually buy the same groceries every week. I listen to the same music every night. But what if there’s something that would be a total and complete game-changer, and we just don’t know about it yet?
All my life I’ve heard snide references to the concept of a “menace to society”, as Brigham Young allegedly referred to unmarried people over the age of 25.
According to Brigham Young, yesterday I became a menace to society.
Although I’m aware that Brigham Young’s time was different than ours, and he was actually talking about men, and he may not have even said it, I want to make one thing abundantly clear:
I am not a menace to society.
I spend 9 hours, 5 days a week, with 20 children who are the leaders of tomorrow. I’m teaching them how to think critically. I’m teaching them how to clearly articulate their opinions in writing, and how to determine accurate and inaccurate sources of information. I’m teaching them about current events, and we’re discussing what kinds of things we can and can’t control. I’m teaching them to be thoughtful readers. I’m teaching them about the world around them and the vastness of the universe. I’m teaching them how to persevere through problem solving as they learn to solve algebraic expressions. I’m teaching them to be kind, respectful, and responsible. I’m teaching them to express gratitude and think about the needs of others before their own. I’m teaching them to fight back to bullies and stand up for people who are getting bullied. I’m teaching them that they are special, and they can can accomplish whatever they put their minds to if they’re willing to work hard.
I don’t really know what a menace to society is, but I think society would be full of a lot more menaces if we didn’t have teachers.
My thoughts today center on being okay with not being perfect. Unfortunately, that’s something I can’t say I’ve achieved. However, I’m working on it.
I was studying 1 Nephi 10 the other day, and a few verses really stuck out to me.
First was verse 6.
My favorite part of that verse is the last line– “UNLESS they should rely on this Redeemer.” (That’s the direct Spanish translation.) We’re not fallen if we rely on the Lord!
Then verse 10.
It’s just talking about what Jesus will do when He’s on Earth, and the last line brings me peace. It says Jesus will “take away the sins of the world.”
Duh. I already knew that. I’ve read this verse a million times.
But He will TAKE AWAY our shortcomings! They will be gone! We will one day be perfect!
I can’t really explain why I care so much about being perfect. I know we aren’t expected to be perfect now, and I know we just need to do our best. But the idea that Jesus will take away our sins and make us perfect brings me more comfort that I can convey through words. What a relief.
Then on top of that, He gives us weaknesses to bring us closer to Him. This song speaks deeply to me. I hate that I have weaknesses, or cracks. But that’s how the Light gets in.
Yesterday, I told my mentor teacher that I want to be a music teacher. This is our subsequent conversation:
Me: Teaching just isn’t what I expected.
Her: What did you expect?
Me: Well, I thought I’d be making a difference all the time.
Her: You are making a difference.
Me: Well, I’m not happy. I want to be a music teacher.
Her: I thought you said you want to make a difference.
Me: Uhh yeah. Music changes lives!
Her: Science, math, and language arts are what change lives. That’s how the kids will get jobs. If you want to change lives, general education is the way. They don’t need music.
Me: *Internal screaming and disagreeing with every fiber of my being.*
When I think of my teachers that changed my life, the first ones that come to mind are Mr. Larson, Mrs. Chantry, Mrs. Jensen, and Dr. Fullmer. Music teachers absolutely make a difference. I want to be a music teacher so I can help kids see a more beautiful side of the human experience. So they can have tools to cope when life gets hard. So they can learn to work hard at something and achieve great results. So they can appreciate something that took more than 30 seconds to create. Kids need music.
Everybody needs music. My music teachers continue to change my life.
I’m pretty sure no one reads my blog anymore, so I’m just going to be super honest today: I am currently going through the hardest time of my life. I thought my mission was kind of hard, but teaching 6th grade at Escalante Elementary under the current administration (something like Umbridge, to give you an idea) makes the mission feel like a Disney cruise.
I love my kiddos, and I won’t abandon them in the middle of the year. But no amount of money could entice me to stay at this school another year.
This morning I was writing Lauren, and Elder Holland’s Mormon Message about good things to come came into my mind. Heavenly Father gives us hard times because He loves us, and He wants to help us grow. I know that this will give me experience and be for my good, and I’m trying to keep that perspective. As long as I stay faithful to my covenants, which I will, everything will be okay.
I had bedbugs for like 4 weeks of my mission, and I have said that the bedbugs represent the single most difficult time of my life. I was literally covered in bites (hundreds), everything in our house was put into black garbage sacks, we were heavily drugged on benadryl to control the excessive itching, we had to sleep on the floor, the Spirit was not in our apartment, and it was just uncomfortable in every way.
Last week put that trial in the dust.
I NEVER expected Donald Trump to win the presidency. I even promised some of my kiddos that it would never happen, when they approached me in fear during the election.
Somehow our country let this happen, and we’re still in shock. I played this song for my class on Wednesday morning so they could write their feelings about the election, and I feel it’s appropriate for anyone grieving.
We can’t break character; we need to continue in love and acceptance, no matter who our president is.
I love documentaries. They’re one of my favorite genres, and I delight in Netflix’s documentary selection. Last week I noticed a few Facebook posts about Netflix’s new documentary “13th”, and I found myself alone on a Friday night… So I decided to watch it.
Best decision ever.
It is by no means a “feel-good” film. It’s the opposite. I felt bad pretty much the whole hour and forty minutes. But feel-good movies don’t really empower us to change; this did.
“13th” explores the consequences of the 13th amendment, which gave every man the right to vote UNLESS he’d been convicted of a felony. Racisms continues in the United States today, with Lord Voldemort aka Donald Trump leading his Death Eaters aka Trump supporters all over the country.
You know the #threefictionalcharacters thing that was going crazy on social media this week? I usually don’t hop on those bandwagons, including changing your profile picture to be the French flag, but I thought this one was fun.
I chose Hermione Granger, Anne Shirley, and Emma Woodhouse.
I esteem Hermione more highly than possibly any other fictional character of all time, so I feel somewhat prideful including her in fictional characters that represent me. Nonetheless, I aspire to be more like Hermione, and I’d like to think we have a bit in common. For example, I love to read. I guess I love school, because I made it my career. I think friendship and loyalty are the most important things in this life, and I hope that I could be as loyal and true as Hermione is.
I chose Anne Shirley because I feel like we share a passion for life. We’re also sometimes shamelessly outspoken and tactless. And I’d like to say we’d do anything for the ones we love. She also became a teacher, and I hope to be as dedicated to my students as she was to hers. And Imma marry a Gilbert Blythe someday.
Emma. Reading Emma was a revelatory experience for me, because I became aware of several flaws I hadn’t previously recognized. I am prone to get myself involved in other people’s business when I shouldn’t, just like Emma. I’m also an avid match-maker. And Emma and I both almost always have good intentions, but often end up making big messes.